apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Terrible idea I love it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize