i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
