I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
