WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
