So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
