have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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