Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
