sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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