dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
