A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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