guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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