I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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