Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
