i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
