Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
