ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
