So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
