i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Two words: nipple clamps
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