i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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