I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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