Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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