he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
