do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
