So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
