I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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