This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
