May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
