okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
In America we eat man semen.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
