we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
