it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Say something about gay babies.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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