real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
