perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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