It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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