If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
