Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
