as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
