hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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