shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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