I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
