Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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