I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Say something about gay babies.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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