Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
