she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
