she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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