How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
