I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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