That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
