Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
