Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we made out on top of his cat.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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