He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
