First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
