I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She even gives head with a lisp.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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