its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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