me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
