yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The air was thick with penises
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
