At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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